Friday, October 29, 2010

Just Mesmerizing . . .

When I went home the other day after school, I saw 2 suitcases on my daughter’s bed.  I suddenly mulled over why? BJ wasn’t home yet, and it dredged up on me that she was on practice at the “Life Mix” where she used to hang out with her church peers. She used to be home after practice between 8:00-9:00 PM. 

It messed me up when I arrived home and BJ is not yet around. I felt something sting inside of me. I just don’t know why, but no matter how I evade from thinking about negatives every time BJ comes home late, I just can’t be ousted away from it.  I really don’t want to feel that way, but being a mother, I guess it’s normal. 

With  the thought of the 2 suitcases on BJ’s bed, I remembered then that she would be going to Davao the following day to attend a youth seminar. She has to be there because she would be rendering a song. I texted her thrice but there was no response, I thought maybe because she has no load. She arrived home before 9:00 PM though. 

Before she left for Davao the following morning, we both embraced each other and I prayed for her safe travel to Davao. I would be missing her for a night because her group would be staying there for a night.

Every time she’s home, I felt relaxed. BJ always reminds me not to worry because God is there. She would asked me, “Mom do you trust God”? And I would say, “Of course”. Then she would say, “really”? “But it seems you are not”. I would always tell her that it’s not really safe to be home late, though she has a companion home, her church colleague who’s just a stone’s throw from home. But the feeling is different when I can’t see her around when she’s suppose to be home.

I have a hard time putting BJ to just stay home after school. She has to be home late because of school activities and of course her inclination to “Life Mix” is so much a passion for her. She’s on music ministry and as I saw it, she’s really been used by the Lord in this ministry.

BJ is grown up and it’s not the same anymore like it was several years ago. She’s 16 years old and graduating in high school. I just didn’t realize that she’s no more a kid. And that I need to have her enjoy her passion and just support her with all of her endeavors, instead of holding her on her neck as often times I do.

Her Dad was so protective which I amply understand. Though he’s not around, yet he’s following her up every now and then, and every time he calls us or when he’s online on skype.  He checked BJ’s presence at home and of course AJ, her younger brother. It happens often times.
Today, BJ would be home. AJ keeps on asking when her ate BJ arrives home. He’s missing her ate BJ. There are only 2 of them, BJ is 16 and AJ is 9 years old. I pray God keeps their travel back home safe and secured under the covering of the Lord’s most precious blood. Amen and Amen!

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